By Asaph Bitner
One of the best on-paper and most hyped MMA cards in memory is fast approaching, and anticipation is building to a fever pitch. And as everyone raises their hopes for what they wish will be a transcendent celebration of civilized violence at UFC 200 this weekend, we pessimists of this lovely sport start to ready our cringe faces.
But what if we could prepare ourselves for the worst? Soften the 4-ounce-gloved blow to our souls that the MMA gods are sure to deliver in their infinite, cruel, brawlability?
Well, here’s your pre-gut-punch padding, dear readers: a fight-by-fight breakdown of all the ways in which the gourmet chicken salad that is UFC 200 could turn into a total chicken s**t-show.
Jim Miller vs. Takanori Gomi
This is supposed to be an exciting match-up between two solidly entertaining fighters, but is also a fight between two fighters who have lost a little too often lately. These two will blast each other for a round, and then both be forced by the doctor to quit, as they’ll both be injured. Double no-contest.
Diego Sanchez vs Joe Lauzon
Ready for three rounds of non-stop action from two of the most thrilling fighters in any UFC division? Well, too bad. A Sanchez leg kick, the first strike he throws, is going to pop Lauzon’s knee and take him out at just 10 seconds of round 1.
Gegard Mousasi vs Derek Brunson
Well, as of this writing, it seems this fight is already cursed, since Brunson has been forced out due to injury. And so…
Gegard Mousasi vs. Thiago Santos
Two interesting strikers? Here comes wrestling time! Santos and Mousasi will spend 15 minutes alternately pinning each other to the cage and circling around each other, looking for an opening that never comes. By the end of ….View full article